Ghosts of the past and present
by Syntium
Summary: The sequel to "Matters of the heart" reposted and finished.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the Flying doctors, I am not making any money from this.**

Chris woke up from a good night's sleep and found her husband Daniel lying opposite of her in the bed, smiling, like he had done every morning the past few weeks they'd been married. Her lips formed a happy smile of their own and she stretched her arms in his direction to pull him closer.

"Good morning Mr Wellings,"  
"And good morning to you Mrs Wellings. Sleepyhead!"  
"If I catch you calling me that in public, I'll have to seriously harm you."  
"What? Sleepyhead? I wouldn't call you that in public."  
"No! Mrs Wellings of course," she laughed. "I am proud of being a doctor."  
"I know that. I know I'm old-fashioned, but I can't help it."  
"Well, you want to know a secret? I'm old-fashioned too. I love hearing you say it every morning. But I was serious about the harm though," she smiled.  
Daniel buried his face where her neck met the shoulder and started to kiss the shoulder.  
"Do you really have to go to work today?" he mumbled between kisses.  
"Yes, I really have to go to work today. Honeymoon's over, you know."  
Her husband groaned. Chris threw a quick glance towards the alarm clock and saw that she barely had time to shower before her shift started.  
"Daniel! Did you turn off the alarm clock?"  
"What if I did?" he said mischievously.  
"I have got to get to work!" she said and tried to get out of bed but Daniel was quicker and got on top of her and pinned her wrists to the mattress with his hands.  
"Da-!" he silenced her with a kiss.  
"Isn't there something called fashionably late?"  
"Not in the medical business, there isn't!"  
He cocked his head, and smiled widely. As always she was fascinated by his beautiful brown and green eyes.  
"Hmm, maybe we could call you in sick? You do look a little flushed to me, it's probably a terrible fever coming on."  
"Daniel..."  
"And you would have to spend the whole day in the bed! At the very least."  
"Geoff would have my hide if I called in sick. Now, let me go."  
"Only if you give me a kiss.

"Good morning everyone!" Chris said cheerfully as she stepped into the Royal Flying Doctor's Base. She was greeted by Geoff, Kate and Sam who was just leaving for a clinic run.  
"You owe me a buck!" DJ shouted after them.  
"What was that about?"  
"Oh, that was a bet between Sam and me."  
"What about?" Chris asked as she made her way into the base to get herself a cup of coffee.  
"Oh, err, nothing special."  
"Go on, tell me then."  
"It was stupid, really. We made a bet about whether you would turn up before or after noon. By the way, are you and Daniel coming to the pub tonight?"  
"Why would you bet on a thing like that?" when DJ saw she was still smiling, he eased up.  
"Well, with you being newly wed and all..."  
Chris just smiled, thinking about how close it actually had been for her not to show up.  
"What was it that you said about the pub?" she asked.  
"I've finally convinced Vic to have live acts, namely me. I'll be playing at the pub tonight. It's going to be big! Huge!"  
"We'll be there then!"

"Do we really have to go to the pub?" Daniel asked as he shoved some of the dinner he had made into his mouth.  
"DJ is performing or something so I promised him we would be there. Why? Don't you want to go?"  
"I just would prefer a quiet night in."  
"We've had quiet nights in through most of our honeymoon. " Chris pointed out. "Besides, I thought you would appreciate some live music, since you play the guitar all the time and make songs. Perhaps you should join DJ?"  
"Not a chance!"  
"Why not? The bits and pieces I've heard are quite good. You can play, so why not back DJ or something, if there'll be more nights like this?"  
Daniel fidgeted.  
"Because it's another thing to play for you, than to a crowd. I don't like being stared at."  
"Ok, it was just a thought. I suppose it's my turn to do the dishes then?" Chris said and picked up their plates.  
"Hey... Do you know you are the most wonderful wife?" Daniel smiled. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  
"Yes, I do know," she smiled back.

The pub was unusually crowded, even for a Friday night. With the usual local customers, a group of loud, apparently already drunk, shearers mingled. Chris, Daniel, Kate and Geoff shared a table near the corner where DJ would play.  
"When's he going on?" Kate asked. Chris looked at her watch.  
"In a few minutes," she said and just then, he a appeared with an acoustic guitar and sat down on a stool. He adjusted the mic stand and tapped the mic to see if it was on.  
"One, two, one, two. Can you hear me?"  
"Yeah!" one of the shearers shouted and some scattered applauds were heard.  
"Ok, here we go then!" DJ started to play a fast tune and sing along to it.

The crowd did not seem overly enthusiastic and soon seem to lose interest in his playing.  
Daniel enjoyed hearing DJ play, and he secretly wished that it was him that were so brave to sing for a crowded pub.  
"He's good!" he said to the others at the table and they nodded in agreement. Then suddenly the sound of glass being broken was heard and angry voices accusing one another for being responsible for the wasted glass of beer. A fist landed on someone's cheek, and so the fight was started. Before anyone could fathom what had happened the whole pub seemed engaged in fighting physically or verbally abusing one another. DJ saw one of his mates getting dragged into the fight and he immediately stopped playing to jump in and help.  
"Cut it out you mongrels!" Vic yelled but to little avail.  
"Guess, we'll have our hands full tomorrow," Geoff said as he rose to help breaking up the huge fight. Chris and Kate joined him. Daniel bit his lower lip and looked at the guitar DJ had left behind. What if he could..? With the guests of the pub in an uproar, they probably wouldn't know the difference anyway. Without really thinking about it, he got up and took DJ's guitar. Feverishly he searched his mind of a good song to play, but the only one that came to mind was one of his own creations.  
"I guess it's do or die now," he thought and began to softly strum the guitar. His voice felt very shaky as the first words came out, but after the first sentence he felt more secure and even sang a little louder. Though he didn't dare to look up from the floor, Daniel both heard and sensed that the crowd was calming down and turning their surprised attention to him. In his mind he was in the living room, singing only to Chris and it was a love song he had written to her, though she had never heard it.

As Chris was trying to mediate between two arguing men, she heard a familiar voice singing low from the corner. To her and everybody else's surprise, she saw that it was Daniel. He was singing softly and his voice seemed to sooth and calm everyone down. The words were pure poetry of love and devotion and it brought tears to Chris' eyes. Eventually, the last tone of the guitar faded and the pub of Copper's crossing was dead silent for a few seconds. Then roaring applauds were heard, shouting and whistling. As Daniel looked up from the floor and then realized that it wasn't just him and Chris, he felt his cheeks flush a little. DJ came up to him.  
"Thanks mate! Won't you play another one?"  
"Nah, that's the only one I know the full lyrics to."  
"It was beautiful, who is it?"  
"Uh, it's mine actually."  
"Really? I didn't know you were a song writer?"  
"Well, song writer is a bit too much. I dabble."  
"Don't be modest now, you are really good!" Chris said and put one arm around his shoulder and smiled. "By the way, what song was that? I don't think I've heard it before."  
"You haven't, it's a new one and I wanted to surprise you with it. It's called 'Precious', because that's what you are to me, I wrote it for you" Daniel whispered softly in her ear. The tears of happiness was threatening to fall from her eyes as she leaned in to kiss him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Come on mate! It'll be great! We need more acts to our talent show, which is a big fund raiser for the RFDS, and you can play and sing. What better combination is there?" DJ said.  
Daniel opened his mouth to politely decline his offer, but was stopped by Paula Patterson.  
"And don't say you can't play, because we all heard you, and now you got the chance to sing to practically the whole outback," she said  
Daniel rolled his eyes. Just then, Chris and Kate walked through the door to the pub for their lunch hour. Paula motioned for them to come over to the bar  
"Did we mention it's a big, big fund raiser for the RFDS where your wife and your sister work, now you wouldn't want them to be unemployed, do you?" said DJ.  
"Of course he doesn't," Kate said. "Are you talking about the talent show you're putting on?"  
Both DJ and Paula nodded.  
"Is he resisting?" Kate asked.  
"Well, technically we haven't got an answer yet."  
"Technically you haven't given me the chance to answer! And the answer is no."  
DJ, Paula and Kate turned to Chris.  
"Help?" Paula said.  
"I'll see what I can do," she smiled mischievously.  
"Uh-oh," Daniel said because he knew he'd never be able to say no to Chris. She went behind him where he was sitting at a bar stool and put her arms around his waist and whispered in his left ear so that the others wouldn't hear.  
"You know how I love to hear you sing, and you haven't sung 'Precious' to me since that night. I should very much like to hear it again," and with the others not being able to see, she nibbled quickly and gently at his ear. Her soft voice had as always sent shivers down his spine of pure pleasure, and he had been lost to the cause at the very first word she had whispered. Daniel slumped his head and groaned.  
"Alright, I'll do it."

A few weeks later the night of the talent show was about to take place. However, this Herb Walters didn't know as he stepped off the bus in the God forsaken town of Cooper's crossing.  
"Well, at least it seems to have a hotel," he thought grumpily. As he walked into the Majestic, he immediately felt like an outsider that everyone was staring at. Herb decided to ignore the looks and stomped off in the direction of the bar.  
"A room please. And a cold beer," he said and reached for his wallet. A rather corpulent older man pulled up a beer for him and brought out the hotel register. Herb signed and got his key.  
"Welcome to the Majestic, I am Vic Buckley."  
An elderly woman entered from a back door and she lit up as she saw Herb's face so much that he thought it was someone he should recognize.  
"This is Nancy, my wife," Vic said. "And this is Mr..." Vic discreetly tried to read the signature from the register.  
"Walters. Herb Walters," the man said and extended his hand to Nancy. He also shook Vic's hand while he was at it.  
"We don't often get new faces around here," Nancy said. "What brings you all the way here?"  
"Business. I'm heading back to Sydney. By the way, is there a quick way that I can get there?"  
"You can take the plane to Broken Hill," Vic said.  
"Great! When does it leave?"  
"Not until the day after tomorrow."  
Herb's shoulders sank.  
"May I ask what business you're traveling in?" Nancy said, her tone was friendly enough, so Herb guessed she didn't mean to pry.  
"I'm in the music business," he answered hesitantly.  
"Really?! What do you do?"  
"I, uh... Find new acts and artists."  
"Well, aren't you heaven sent," Vic laughed.  
"How so?" Herb asked surprised by their reaction.  
"We are having a talent show here tonight, as a fund raiser for the RFDS. Would you be so kind and be one of the judges? We need a stand in for Dr Chris Wellings as her husband is trying his luck in the show." Nancy pleaded.  
"Have mercy on me! A bunch of hicks wants me to be the judge in their talent show!" Herb thought. But since he had nothing better to do with his time, he thought: "Why not? Maybe I can find a really good spoon player."  
"Alright," he grumbled, finished his beer, took his key and went straight to his room to get some rest.

"Tell me again why I am doing this?" Daniel said to Chris who was in the bathroom and getting ready for the big night. He sat on the coffee table and was tuning his guitar.  
"Because I want to hear that song of yours again."  
"That's not a good reason, I could play it for you now."  
Chris came out of the bathroom.  
"Because you don't want Kate and I to lose our jobs?"  
"The things I do for you! You'll live to regret the day when you got me into this!" Daniel joked.  
"Come on, we don't want to be late."

The pub was more crowded as ever. Herb sighed. His ears were bleeding from some bad singing, an accordion player and someone who had tried to play a Jew's harp.. not to mention the publicant's ukulele playing. He held a pretty decent juggling act as the winner when the last performance was being announced. A young man in his early twenties with a guitar in his hand, limped up to the improvised stage and sat down on a stool by the mic stand.  
"Uh... This is a song that I've written myself. It's called "Precious", and I dedicate it to my wife Chris."  
The audience started to applaud and cheer and the man on the stage gave a small, insecure smile.  
"Heaven help us, well, at least he doesn't play the spoons." Herb thought and leaned back in his chair and tiredly rubbed his eyes. But as Daniel began to play the intro, it caught his interest. The kid could at least handle a guitar. Then he started to sing as well, and he actually had a good voice. Sure, he was rough around the edges, real rough. Herb counted up to three times when the young man actually looked up from the floor. But he had the face that could attract a female audience  
"So the kid doesn't have much stage experience, that's easily fixed. The song is a beautiful ballad, that could very well be a hit," Herb thought and he leaned over to Dr Geoff Standish and someone they called DJ who were his fellow jury members.  
"I think we got ourselves a winner," he whispered.

"That was our last act, now it is up to the jury to decide who will be the lucky winner!" Paula announced.  
Daniel walked over to the table he shared with Chris and Kate. Chris gave him a kiss on the lips.  
"You were great!" Kate said.  
"Thanks! By the way, who was the new face at the jury table?"  
"Oh, you didn't hear?" said Kate.  
"I didn't tell him, because if I had, then he would never had gotten up on that stage," Chris said.  
Kate laughed.  
"He's apparently in the music business, but I'm not sure exactly what he does. Maybe he'll get you a record deal," Kate said with an amused smile.  
Daniel just snorted.  
"Well, it seems like the jury has already come to a decision!" Paula Patterson said in the mic and the whole pub cheered. Daniel felt as if his belly contained lots of butterflies. Maybe he'd come in third place? Or maybe even second?  
DJ gave Paula an envelope which she slowly opened.  
"Okay, so... In third place we have... Vivianne Smith and her interpretation of "Over the rainbow". Come on up Viv!"  
Cheering and applauding.  
"And then our runner-up is...Carl Ray and his juggling act! Come up, Carl!"  
So then there's only one thing left. The winner of Cooper's crossing talent show is..."  
The silence was hanging thick in the room as Paula deliberately made a pause, and someone shouted "Vic Buckley!"  
"The winner is... Daniel Wellings!"  
Daniel was stunned. He couldn't wrap his brain around hat he had just won the whole thing!  
"Go on, get up there!" Kate laughed at his surprised look and the whole pub was applauding and cheering. He made his way to the little crowded stage in the Bistro part of the pub and accepted a little trophy from Paula.  
"Now, do we want to hear Daniel sing again?"  
"YES!" the crowd screamed.  
"Well then, better give the audience what they want, Daniel!" and handed over the microphone to him. With his new victory bolstering him, Daniel played an even more heartfelt version of "Precious" and he looked at Chris as he sang, which almost, almost brought tears to Herb Walters eyes.  
"I must be getting old," his thoughts muttered.

"May I join you?" Herb asked.  
"Yeah, sure" Daniel made a gesture to the chair Kate had left behind to go and talk to Geoff.  
"Your name was Daniel, right? Herb Walters," Daniel took his extended hand and shook it.  
"This is Chris, my wife."  
Herb put on his most charming smile.  
"I can see where he gets the inspiration to write such a beautiful song."  
"Thank you."  
"I don't know if you've heard, but I am in the music business, mostly I manage new acts and such. Here's my card by the way," Herb reached for the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a business card.  
"I am staying here at the pub until Monday, I should very much like to hear what else you've got. In terms of songs, I mean.  
"Uh... Okay."  
"Don't hesitate to give me a call!"  
"He will!" Chris said and Daniel's eyes widened.  
"Good!" Herb rose. "Hope you have a wonderful evening!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chris was buried in some paperwork in the room under the loft, which they had turned into a study. In the corner of her eye she noticed Daniel pacing to and fro in the living room. He was holding the business card and occasionally stopped and looked at it, only to start pacing again. After five minutes of trying to concentrate, she gave up and walked up to her husband.

"Are you planning to make a hole in the floor? Why don't call him at the pub?"

Daniel sighed.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not to an outsider perhaps," she answered and saw his tension ease up a bit as she smiled.

"You think I should call him?"

"Of course I do! Don't you realize this is the chance of a lifetime? What are the odds of someone with connections in the music business ending up here?"

"Yeah, but where will this chance of a lifetime get me? Maybe he hates my music?"

"So what? Maybe he loves it? There's only one way to find out," she said and handed him the phone.

Daniel took it and dialed the number to the pub.

An hour and a half later, he was just finished playing the last of his songs to Herb. The man hadn't said a word during his little performance, so Daniel felt the need to break the silence.

"I know it's not much..."

Herb just waved with his arm to stop him, and stroked his heavy mustache with his other hand as if he was thinking hard on some problem.

"I'm going to be honest with you," he said after many seconds of silence. "Acoustic guitar is not even close to being hip to the kids. It's all about them..." Herb snapped his fingers as he was looking for the right word. "Synthesizers! But should it come to a record deal, the producer will handle all that. Now, as far as the lyrics goes, they're too depressing. No one wants to listen to pop songs about death and that kind of stuff, it's not radio friendly. And your hair is too short, but that will be fixed given enough time. But you've got this raw talent, that we could build on. I want you to come with me to Sydney tomorrow. I'll set up a meeting with a few people and you will play your songs to them. How does that sound?"

"So, uh, you like the songs?" Daniel said in disbelief.

"You've got what we in the business call 'something'. That undefinable charisma that makes a good artist, even if you are too modest and shy for your own good. And you write good music, even if it is depressing. Shall I book you on the plane to Broken Hill, and then further to Sydney?"

"I don't know, it's all happening very fast."

"That's the way it goes," Herb said.

"I'll have to talk to Chris."

"You do that and let me know straight away. I suspect I've got some phone calls to make," said Herb with a smile.

Driving back home from the pub Daniel's head was spinning and he bit his lower lip. He didn't want to get any hopes up, but still... Maybe? Singing and playing the guitar was something he had always loved to do. But to do it professionally, in front of a crowd that wasn't just a pub full of friends and people he knew, that was a different matter.

"Of course you should do it," Chris said calmly when he had told her about the meeting at the pub. Daniel was sitting in the couch, his left leg was bouncing up and down, as if to channelize some of the stress.

"What's the worst thing that could happen?"

"I sit there and play my music and they hate it."

"So what if they hate it? Does it really matter what a bunch of people you don't even know, think of your music?"

"I would feel like a failure."

"But you're not a failure, you've been given this incredible opportunity, and it would be crazy not to even at least give it a try. I think you should call Herb and tell him you want to go to Sydney with him. If they hate the songs, fine, but if they like them who knows where it'll lead you? In short, you have nothing to lose."

As so many times before she had made him see the more positive side of things. Daniel chewed on his lower lip and gave Chris an insecure look, and she nodded encouragingly. He reached for the phone and for the second time that day dialed the number to the pub.

It all happened so fast, Daniel could hardly wrap his brain around it, when the taxi stopped in front of an enormous building in Sydney.

"This... Is Rocket Records," Herb gestured towards a sky-scraper. They went inside and Herb led him straight to the elevators, and up they went. Daniel was carrying his guitar in an old and worn guitar case. He was constantly shifting his weight on his feet from the heel to the front of the feet and back again.

"Would you calm down a bit?" Herb said and led him out of the elevator. "It'll be a breeze for you, just let me do the talking," he said and opened a double-door. Inside it seemed to Daniel that a board meeting was going on. There were four men sitting at the curve of a horseshoe-shaped table. They were all wearing fancy suits and ties, and Daniel felt very awkward, wearing only jeans and a t-shirt.

"Herb! Almost on time, as usual," one of the men rose and smiled.

"Ah, uh, the traffic was awful!" Herb smiled nervously and went up and shook his hand. "Daniel, this is Mr. Jamison, Mr. Becker, Mr Sutton and Mr. Newton."

Daniel insecurely raised a hand and said "Hi". He had remained by the door while Herb was talking to Mr Jamison.

"Is this the great talent you were talking about?" Jamison said low. "Not much self confidence there."

"Just wait 'til you hear him sing," Herb whispered back. Jamison sat down again. Herb sat on the table.

"Pull up a chair if you will, and let us hear what you have," Jamison said.

Daniel did so, and sat down with his guitar.

"What kind of music do you play Mr. Wellings?"

"Uh, I don't really know how to label it..."

"He plays pop." Herb said.

"Ok, you may start."

In lightning speed, Daniel racked his brain to come up with a good song to play, wishing he had been more prepared, but the only lyrics that would come up was to an old song that he called "The grim reaper", so he started to play that. But just as he was finished with the chorus of the song, Mr. Jamison held up a hand.

"Thank you," he said.

"He doesn't look happy," Daniel thought. Jamison looked at him as if measuring him, and he did his best not to look away. Herb felt his superiors were not satisfied with the performance, and he tried to salvage the situation.

"Daniel, won't you play "Precious", for us?"

He nodded and started to strum the guitar again. Playing that song brought an image of Chris to his mind, and unknowingly he smiled. This time they let him finish the song, and as he looked up he thought he could see hint of smiles on their faces. At least Herb was smiling from ear to ear.

"Do you have any other songs like this one? I mean more uplifting?"

"No, not really, this is the only one I've written since I got married."

"So you're married?"

"Yes sir."

"Could you give us a few minutes, Mr. Wellings?"

"Of course," he got up from the chair and limped off through the door.

"You too Herb," Jamison said. Herb gave him a surprised look but then lumbered after Daniel.

Daniel let out a loud exhale, but the lump in the pit of his stomach would not go away so easily. He wished for a cigarette.

"Don't look like that, you did great!" Herb said.

"Then why didn't they tell me that?"

"Oh, you know, the have to confer with each other and all that. Don't worry!" Herb said a little more enthusiastic than he really was. It hadn't started that great with Daniel playing one of his more sad songs, but fortunately, he got the chance to play "Precious".

After an ocean of time had passed by it seemed to Daniel, they got called back in to the conference room by Mr. Sutton.

"Can you write more songs like the last one you did? Precious, or what you called it? More ballads? And catchy pop tunes?" Jamison said.

"I suppose I could try, I haven't really..."

"Splendid, then we'll see you back here in three weeks and hear what you've got, yes?"

"Ok."

"Congratulations!" Herb said and gave him a pat on the arm.  
"So what does this mean? Do I've got a record deal or something?" Daniel asked Herb in the elevator.  
"Calm down a bit, they liked you and want to hear what you're capable of."

"But they..."

"Songs like the first one doesn't sell! They should be ballads like "Precious" or catchy pop songs. You heard him. The things about death and... That stuff... Kids want happy pop songs with lyrics of love, so that they forget about their dull lives for a while. And with the inspiration you have in your wife it shouldn't be too hard to write those," Herb laughed at his own joke.  
Daniel got into a cab that would take him to the airport.  
"See you in three weeks!" Herb called out over the roaring traffic.


	4. Chapter 4

"Catchy, happy, pop songs," Daniel muttered to himself and laid the guitar beside him on the couch. It had been two and a half week since he had been to Sydney, and so far he had only written one love song. He rubbed his face with his hands and felt very weary of playing the guitar, trying to force combinations of notes out of it. Daniel had never tried seriously to write songs, before he would just get a tune in his head doing random things, like washing the dishes, and then put words to it. He reached for his note book where he would scribble down thoughts, parts of lyrics and poems. As he flipped through the pages, an old song caught his eyes.

"Maybe if I speed this up a bit?`" he thought. "And change the lyrics?"

Daniel got so consumed by working on the song he didn't notice that Chris came home from work, until she put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Are you back already?" he asked confusedly and looked out the windows and saw that it was already getting dark.

"Already? That shift didn't end too soon," Chris answered and rubbed her neck. Daniel put away the guitar and patted next to him on the couch. She sat down and he started to rub her shoulders.

"Aah, that feels divine!"

"I guess I owe you something for not having dinner ready when you got home."

"True," Chris agreed with a playful tone. "But I know how hard you've been working on your music. How is it going?"

"I've only managed to write two songs, hope that's enough. The plane leaves in three days."

"They only gave you three weeks so I don't think they expect that you have a whole album ready for them. Yeah, right there!"

"I hope so. I just don't know what they expect of me."

"If they don't like the songs, then you can always become a full time masseur."

Daniel laughed and gave her a kiss on the neck.

Three days passed and Daniel managed to get another half of a song ready. Now he and Chris stood at the Cooper's Crossing airport, saying their goodbyes. Kate was also there since they were going out on a clinic run. As people started to board the plane to Broken Hill, Daniel gave Chris one last kiss.

"You better go now, you don't want to miss this plane," Chris said.

"I know, but I just can't stop kissing you," Daniel smiled.

"Go, or I'll kick your butt to Sydney myself!" Kate interrupted. Daniel gave Chris one last kiss on the nose and stuck out his tongue to his sister, then he walked as fast as he could and boarded the plane. As Chris watched him leave she felt hollow inside. Like a bad omen had come to her.

Herb met Daniel on the airport in Sydney.

"Well?" was the first thing he said. "Did you manage to write any new songs?"

"Hi to you too." Daniel smiled.

"Ah, sorry. But did you? I am so curious!"

"Yeah, two and a half."

"A half? How do you manage to write half a song?" Herb said as they got into a taxi.

"You didn't exactly give me a lot of time. Do you think it'll be enough?"

"Depends on what they sound like. Are they depressing?

"I don't think so."

"Then you don't have anything to worry about," Herb assured him.

An hour later, Daniel found himself in the same meeting room with the horseshoe-shaped table and himself in front of the record company people. Herb was there as well, and they all looked almost expectantly at him. Daniel's nervousness kicked in, and as he began to play he struck the wrong string on the guitar.

"Sorry about that," he apologized, but none of the men said anything so he started over.

After he was done Mr. Jamison, who seemed to be the spokesman, said: "So, all in all, you've got three and half song?"

"Yes sir."

"Do you play covers?"

"Uh...?" Daniel hesitated.

"We are going to try a new concept. We have a few artists like yourself in whom we have great faith in. There's going to be a tour, around Australia that will last for two months. Is this something you're interested in? It will give you time to write new songs and at the same time give you stage experience, and then we can record an album. What do you say?"

"A two month tour?"

"Sounds good to me," Herb interjected.

"The rehearsals have already started, so you would have to stay here in Sydney and join the others."

"I can't go back home and think this over?"

"You need to rehearse, your own songs as well as others if you're going to play a full set. And you'll have time to write new songs on the tour bus. What do you say?" Mr. Jamison smiled.

"I feel a bit put on the spot here, to be honest."

"I understand, you go back to your hotel, and think things over, and give us an answer tomorrow."

The men in suits all rose as a cue that the meeting was over.

Daniel laid down on the hotel bed and stared up the ceiling. He missed Chris immensely and decided that he would give her a call. He reached for the phone.

"Chris Wellings."

"I love hearing you say that."

"Daniel! How did it go?"

"They want me to go on a two month tour."

"Two months?! Tour? Where?"

"All over the place, Brisbane, Alice Springs, Darwin, Perth and just about every place in between."

Chris was silent.

"And I wouldn't be coming home before it starts either, the want me to start rehearsing the day after tomorrow."

"I see."

His heart sank when he heard how sad she sounded.

"Is this something you want to do?"

"Yeah, I mean it would be fun I think, but I would miss you so much."

"Me too," Chris said quietly. Then after a few seconds pause she continued: "I think you should do it, I mean if this is what you want..."

"Yeah, it is, but I can't stand the thought of being away from you."

"It's only two months, we'll call each other, and you'll write every week!"

"I will," he promised. "I love you!"

"I love you too!"

As they hung up, Daniel felt how tired he was, and that his throat was tickling.

"Hope I'm not coming down with a cold," he muttered and decided that it was time for bed.


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as he stepped of the plane, the familiar sight of the little airport of Cooper's Crossing, struck him at the very heart. He was... Home.

"Home is where the heart is. Too true!" he thought. When he looked around the airport, he saw an RFDS car parked outside the hangar. He looked at his watch. If he calculated right they should be coming back from a clinic run just about now. Sure enough, soon he could hear the distant humming of an another plane in the air. "It has to be the Nomad."

He walked over to the car and leaned against it, crossed his arms and waited for the plane to land. Maybe she had been on the clinic run? The first one out of the plane was Kate, then a new face and then lastly the pilot who, if his eyes did not deceive him was Sam Patterson. No one was looking in the direction of the car, but was busy unloading the plane. He decided to walk up to them. Kate was having her hands full with boxes and medical bags when she heard a familiar voice.

"Need a hand?"

Startled she turned around to see who it was.

"Oh my God! Tom Callaghan!" she said.

"The one and only," he smiled.

"What are you doing here? I mean, welcome back! This is your successor, Dr. Geoff Standish, and you remember Sam, right?

Tom shook hands with Geoff and waved 'hi' to Sam.

"I was hoping for a ride into town, if that's okay with you?"

"Sure," Geoff said.

Kate ended up in the backseat with Tom and seemed to have a million questions for him. How was Africa? When did he come back to Australia? And most of all why had he come back?

"Slow down Kate," Tom laughed. He seemed happy to Kate, calm, contented, he was smiling a lot. But as they got closer to town, Tom felt a bit anxious.

"Uh, is Chris at the hospital?" he tried to sound casual, but his voice quavered a bit.

"Yes, she should be holding the fort there." Geoff said. Do you want us to drop you off there? We're heading to the base."

"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks!"

"No worries."

Within five minutes Tom stood outside the hospital, which he had left a few years ago to go to Africa and work as a doctor there. With a deep sigh, he took his suitcase and walked in. It was a nice change to feel the cool air conditioning inside the hospital. He felt like a ghost haunting his past as he walked down the corridors. At the nurse's station there was a nurse that Tom didn't recognize.

"Excuse me, is Dr. Chris Randall around here?"

"Oh you mean Chris Wellings? She is with a patient at the moment, but you can take a seat and wait for her if you like."

Tom felt as if he'd been stabbed in the stomach with a knife. He had only registered the different name, not that he actually knew the name. As he sat down, he remembered that Kate's last name was Wellings. That confused him at first, then a memory of Kate mentioning a brother, came into his mind. Of all the different scenarios he had imagined before coming here, not in one of them had she'd been married. Suddenly he heard a familiar voice talking to the nurse and he looked up.

"Tom!" Chris' face lit up. Unconsciously he looked for signs that there was more than friendly feelings for him, but he found none. He rose to give her a hug.  
"Hey Chris" he wanted to hold her forever, but she pulled away too soon for it to be anything but a friendly hug.  
"It's my lunch hour, won't you join me at the pub?"  
"Uh, I'd rather go somewhere quiet. How about your place?"  
"Alright, just let me get my things."

"It's... Spacious," Tom said as he looked around the house with its high ceiling and its little loft.  
Chris laughed.  
"To be honest, I don't think it's big enough for two, but it's cozy and we haven't killed each other yet so..."  
"Yeah, I heard you were married, though the name Wellings confused me a bit. At first I thought you had married Kate," Tom smiled and Chris threw a fake punch his way.  
"No I'm married to her brother Daniel."  
"I don't think I have met him," Tom said and searched his brain for the memory of Kate telling about her brother.  
Chris stopped preparing tea and looked thoughtful.  
"No I suppose you wouldn't have. He was out traveling a lot then."  
"Wasn't he her kid brother?"  
A wry smile formed on her face.  
"He is eleven years younger than me."  
"Wow," Tom gave a whistle. "I bet that didn't sit well with Violet Carnegie and the rest."  
"It was hard at first but I think they gave up on us as we got married."  
"So, where is he? I'd love to meet him?" Tom forced the last words out of his mouth.  
"He's been on tour for the past month, and won't be back for another one."  
"A tour? Is he a musician of some sort?"  
"Yes he is, and a very good one at that."  
Tom saw the love and pride in her eyes, and he felt sick to his stomach. This wasn't the way he had planned. She wasn't supposed to be married, least of all to a man she loved. Chris placed a cup of tea in front of him at the kitchen table and some sandwiches and sat down opposite of him.  
"If he's out on tour then he must have hordes of women around him," Tom tried to joke.  
"I trust him," Chris said but there was a flicker of insecurity in her eyes and Tom hated himself for planting seeds of doubt in her mind.  
"Why did you come back?  
The simple question caught him off guard. It was now he would give the speech that he had prepared in his mind, declaring his love for her, but it seemed pointless. She belonged with somebody else now. He chose to tell the truth, but not the whole truth.  
"I guess this is as close to a home that I have. Cooper's Crossing," he said lamely. He did not look up from his tea up, but he felt Chris' eyes on him.  
"Why do you look so sad Tom?"  
"I do?" he countered with a question to buy some time. He hadn't realized the his face reflected his true emotions.  
"Yes, you do. Why?" she asked again and he knew she would not let the subject drop until he had given a plausible explanation. Tom sighed heavily and made Chris even more worried about him. She reached out for his hand and the touch of her skin made him feel he couldn't hold back.  
"Ah... To tell you the truth, I feel a bit... Lost. It was hard being in Africa, much harder than I had expected. For everyone we saved, it seemed there were many that we couldn't help at all. Life slipping through my fingers on a daily basis. It was frightening, not being able to help everyone. But I guess that's something you have to deal with as a doctor, it's just that it became so palpable you know."  
Tom inhaled a deep breath.  
"I had a lot of time to think... And after a while I started feeling like there was something missing. But I just buried myself in more work, I didn't want to realize..." his voice trailed off.  
"Realize what?" Chris urged when he didn't say anything.  
"That I could never be happy there. That I could never get it out of my system, it was just too many that needed my help. And... I realized also that there wasn't something missing but rather... Someone," he finally dared to look up from his tea cup and look her in the eyes.  
"Oh... Oh..." was Chris' only response and she, without knowing it, withdrew her hand.  
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.  
"No, you don't have to apologize."  
"But I want to, I shouldn't have assumed, that you were still waiting for me, that you would throw yourself in my arms and that we would live happily ever after.I should go to the pub," he ended with sudden resolve, rose and took his suitcase.  
"Do you want me to drive you?"  
"Nah, I could do with a walk, I'll be fine. Thanks for the tea!" and so he was out the door and Chris looked down on the tea and sandwiches neither of them had touched.


	6. Chapter 6

Daniel sighed.  
"I'm so tired, Chris. With being on the road, away from you, performing up to three nights a week, and then Herb constantly on my case to write new songs. I'm just so damn tired and I want go home."  
"Maybe you should see a doctor."  
"Why?"  
"Because of this fatigue you're feeling, and the cold you won't get rid of."  
"What do you suppose it could be then?"  
"I'm not sure, could be anything, maybe it's just a stubborn cold." Chris said, but didn't manage to entirely convince herself.  
"Alright, we're somewhere between Katherine and Darwin, I'll go see a doctor when we get to Darwin."  
"You do that, and keep in touch. I love you!"  
"I will. Love you too!"

Chris was worried about Daniel, he had sounded so weary and unhappy over the phone. He had been away for a whole month now, and was going to be gone equally as long. She hadn't counted on for it to be this hard to be away from him, constantly missing him. Nobody there when she got home from work.

Herb Walters looked at Daniel, who was sitting with his guitar and note book by a table in the tour bus. The young man was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt despite the sweltering summer heat and he looked pale.  
"You!" Herb said and saw dark circles under Daniel's eyes when he looked up. "When we get to Darwin the first thing you are going to do is go see a doctor!"  
"I was already planning on it."  
"Good. How's that throat of yours?"  
"Still hurts."  
Herb swore under his breath.  
"You can't keep singing with a sore throat, you sound like frog croakin'."  
"Gee, thanks."  
"Listen, we're about an hour and a half away from Darwin," Herb's voice softened a little. "Remember, first thing we'll take you to a doctor."

"What do you think I should do?" Tom asked Chris. He had been offered a job with the Royal Flying Doctors again. They were sitting in a quiet part of the Bistro, eating dinner.  
"Is there a really good reason not to take the job offer?"  
"No, I suppose not. Well, other than... You know."  
"There's no reason why we can't be good mates."  
"Yeah, good mates," Tom gave a crooked smile and pushed his food around some more, thinking how bittersweet it was to be sitting there with Chris.  
"What?" she asked.  
"Nothing, nothing. It's just that, well, soon you husband will be back, and then I can't pretend anymore."  
"Pretend what?  
"That there's still hope for me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all pathetic on you," he said when he saw the surprise in her eyes.  
"No, no worrries, what are mates for?" Chris felt a strange pang of guilt for not being able to answer his feelings. "Tell you what, you are invited for a night cap at my house," she said with a smile.  
"I delightfully accept!"

"When's Daniel due back?" Tom asked when they had gotten inside the house.  
"Not for another week. I'm kind of worried Tom, last time I spoke to him he was not feeling very well and he was going to see a doctor in Darwin, but I haven't heard from him since and neither has Kate."  
"I wouldn't worry, he's probably just busy."  
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Chris said and took out two wineglasses, a bottle of wine and lit a few candles.  
"Very romantic," he remarked with a grin.  
"Oh, don't be like that," she laughed, poured the wine and sat down next to him on the couldn't resist to think the thought of how beautiful she looked in the soft candle light, her smile, her everything was breath taking. He noticed that she seemed to have drifted off somewhere in thought.  
"What are you thinking of?" he asked softly. The sound of his voice seemed to have startled her somewhat.  
"Oh, I was just worrying about Daniel again. It just seemed so strange that he hasn't been in touch. He promised he would."  
"When am I going to learn?" Tom thought. "She's married to someone else. Someone she obviously loves," he gulped down some wine to help drown any romantic thoughts about the woman he'd come closest to marrying. There was a silence between them, but it didn't feel awkward. Tom was watching Chris, who was watching the flickering candlelights. Then she shrugged and took a sip of wine.  
"So, what's on your mind then?" she asked.  
"You don't want to know."  
"I do! Go on, tell me."  
Tom placed his glass on the table. He then smiled a little and stroked her cheek with his thumb.  
"This," then he leaned in to kiss her.

To his utter surprise, she didn't pull back, but answered the kiss. All Tom could think of was how soft her lips were, how good she tasted and that he wanted more and more. And as long as she didn't push him away...  
Suddenly they were both startled by a door slamming and a bag being dropped on the floor. Shocked, Chris' eyes met Daniel's.  
"Daniel! Daniel, I..."  
He just held up a hand to stop her from talking and then turned and walked up the stairs to the loft.  
"I guess I better go," Tom said and his heart was full of guilt for Chris' sake. She nodded absently and was already up the stairs before he had closed the door.  
Daniel as lying with his back facing her, his arms folded.  
"Daniel, I'm so sorr-,"  
"It's okay," he said in a strange toneless voice that she didn't know how to interpret.  
"No it's not okay!"  
"Chris, just leave me alone for a while, okay?" same toneless voice.  
"We have to talk about this."  
"Not now, I just want to be alone."

Daniel heard her descend the stairs, pick up the wine glasses and go out to the back yard.  
"This is a good thing, right?" he thought. Now she has someone when I..." he didn't dare to think the thought to the end. He felt strangely empty and full of emotions at the same time, all he wanted to do was to beat that man who had kissed his wife, into a pulp. And cry. But no tears came.

If Daniel had a hard time crying, it was easier for Chris. She hurried out the back door and sank down in one of the chairs. Tear after tear came out like pearls on a string and she sobbed. She felt guilty for hurting Daniel, and for answering Tom's kiss in the first place.  
"Why?" she thought. "How could I be so stupid?"  
After about an hour she was empty, and wondered if it was okay for her to go back in. She decided that they needed to talk and opened the door and slipped in.

He was lying in the same position as when she had left him.  
"Daniel, I want to talk about this, explain," she said and he heard that her voice was thick after crying. "Daniel, please, I know you're not sleeping, please look at me," she continued when he didn't move. He slowly turned around and raised himself into a sitting position and hugged his knees. He seemed careful not to look at her and Chris' heart sank.  
"Explain," he said shortly with his eyes affixed at the bed sheets. She found herself at a loss for words.  
"I don't know where to start."  
"Who is he?"  
"His name is Tom Callaghan, he was a doctor here before Geoff came. We have a sort of...History together.  
"What kind of history?"  
"I came close to marrying him before he left for Africa. He just came back a few weeks ago. And tonight, we had a few glasses of wine, and all I could think of was you. Why you hadn't called or written, and I missed you so much. I felt lonely. And then he kissed me, and I guess I answered that kiss because of the history we have, I don't know, I didn't think much.  
Daniel nodded slowly.  
"Do you have any feelings for him?"  
"None. The only one I love is you."  
He sighed, and somehow she got the feeling he was almost displeased with the answer.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes I'm sure. Why?"  
"No matter how hard I want to beat the sense out of this Tom, maybe it's for the best."  
"I wouldn't want you to be alone, should anything... Happen to me."  
A cold shiver ran down Chris' spine.  
"Daniel, look at me, what did the doctor say?"  
As he didn't answer right away she climbed into bed, sat down next to him and took his hand.  
"Did you know my father died of leukemia?"  
"No, I didn't. Daniel please tell me, what's wrong?"  
He opened his mouth, but the words had a hard time to come out.  
"I have... Chronic Myelogenous leukemia. The doctor in Darwin gave me two to six months to live, maybe a little more but the prognosis wasn't good."  
"Oh my God, Daniel! What about treatment?"  
"He said it would only buy me some time. He said something about a 'blast crisis' and that it was very hard to treat at this stage."  
Tears welled up in Chris' eyes again.  
"There must be something we can do? We'll fly to Sydney and see the best oncologist there is!"  
"What's the point? I've already got my answer."  
"But... Daniel..." she sobbed. "Don't give up."  
"I just want you to hold me. Please?"  
Chris laid down and put her head on his shoulder and an arm around his waist. She couldn't help but notice how much weight he had lost in such a short amount of time. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on nothing else but being close to Daniel, and feeling him breathe.


	7. Chapter 7

Daniel looked down on his wife who were sleeping on his shoulder. His heart swelled with love for her and he gently kissed her on the head.  
"Good morning, sleepyhead," he said softly.  
Chris stirred and stretched out her free limbs and gave him a hug, and again she was reminded of how attenuated he was. Yesterday came back to her like a nightmare. Not only had she betrayed Daniel by kissing Tom, she had also found out her husband was dying of cancer. She sat up and looked at him in clear daylight. His face was also showing signs of the illness, pale as it was. He looked tired, despite sleeping the whole night.  
"Thanks for giving me my arm back," he smiled a little.  
"I'm going in to work early today, and talk to Geoff."  
"Why?"  
"Maybe he can direct us to the best oncologist."  
"And you think you will get a different answer than the one I got in Darwin?"  
"I don't know! Did they do all the necessary tests? A spinal tap?"  
"How do you think I got the diagnosis?"  
Chris realized it was a stupid question and that she was grasping for straws.  
"Look, even in this advanced stage, cytostatic treatment, or a bone marrow transplant can..."  
"No, I don't want treatment." Daniel got up out of bed and Chris followed him down the stairs, determined not to give up.  
"Why not?" she asked.  
"The oncologist in Darwin said it would only buy me a few months at best, and as you probably know there are side effects to that too."  
"But didn't he tell you it was your best chance?"  
"He informed me of the side effects, and I decided I didn't want to spend my last few months vomiting and losing my hair, or whatever might happen."  
"But a bone marrow transplant? Kate may be the right tissue type."  
"I don't want to put Kate through that."  
"Then we'll find another donor."  
"No! No treatment! It's pointless anyway."  
"So, you've made your peace? Is that it?" she said defensively  
"I wouldn't exactly say that," Daniel looked sad and tired.  
"I'm sorry, I'm not handling this very well, am I? How are you feeling?"  
"Physically? Weak, tired like I could sleep all day," he took a sip of orange juice he'd gotten from the fridge, and spat it out again in the sink. "Like I can't eat or drink without puking."  
"You should try and eat something all the same. I'm going to the base now, to talk to Geoff. I suggest you get some rest."  
"Aren't you going to have some breakfast?"  
"No, I'm feeling a bit queasy myself," and then she was out the door.

Chris reached the base and just as she was about to open the door, Tom came out and startled her a little.  
"Hey," he said. "Listen, I'm sorry for that kiss last night, I just..."  
"That's alright Tom." Chris answered shortly. "I had as a big a part in it as you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see Geoff," she brushed past him and hurried inside the base. Tom couldn't help but feeling a bit rejected.

Geoff sat silent in his chair. His heart ached for his fellow doctor who was pacing to and fro in front of his desk.  
"Can't you call in a few favours?"  
"It's not about favours, Chris" Geoff said calmly. "It's about what Daniel wants, and you told me yourself that he doesn't want the treatment. Now, if the oncologist in Darwin were right, there's not a lot of things we can do. I'm sorry."  
"If he were right! Maybe they mixed the samples somehow and he's healthy! That they got the wrong person, or..."  
"Does he look healthy?" it was more a question than a statement.  
Chris stopped in her tracks and looked at Geoff.  
"What am I supposed to do then? I can't just surrender and let my husband die from me," the very thought of losing Daniel, made her stomach twist and turn.  
"I think I'm going to be sick," she rushed out of Geoffs office into the bathroom of the base. Kate got up from her desk and knocked on the door.  
"Are you alright, Chris?" after a few seconds her sister-in-law came out.  
"No... No, I don't think so."  
Kate gave a crooked smile, tilted her head, and asked low: "When was the last time you had your period?"  
Chris just gave a blank stare at her, then the penny dropped.  
"Oh, no," she groaned.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing, I have to speak to Geoff." she said and rushed back in to his office.  
"I need you to check if I am pregnant."  
"Okay, we'll go straight to the hospital."

Forty-five minutes later, Geoff had confirmed that she was two months pregnant. Chris felt numb, as if she had just shut down all emotions.  
"I'm giving you the day off," Geoff said. "Talk to Daniel and tell him about the baby, maybe that'll change his mind about treatment."  
"Yeah... Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks Geoff."  
"No worries."

Daniel was lying on the couch, sleeping, as Chris entered the house. She sat down on the coffee table and gently gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
"Hey, are you still feeling tired?"  
"Always," he answered and Chris' stomach turned into a knot.  
"I have something to tell you."  
"You've discovered the cure for cancer?" Chris flinched at his sarcastic tone.  
"No, no there's something else..." she said and hesitated. She had no clue how he would react.  
"Well, what is it then?" he could tell it was something serious so he sat up and took her hands in his.  
"Daniel... I'm pregnant."  
He stared at her like he hadn't understood what she had said. Then the words slowly sank in.  
"Oh, my... Wow," he leaned back in the couch and stroked his chin. "And... I'm the father?"  
Chris rose hastily and walked up to a window.  
"Of course you are! I know I'm not perfect, but that kiss with Tom was a mistake, and it was that one time..."  
Daniel rose as well and hugged her from behind.  
"I know, that's not what I meant... I was just so surprised, this is an amazing thing, a child inside of you, I just can't believe that I could contribute to such an amazing thing."  
"Well, you've very much contributed."  
"How long until the baby comes?"  
"Seven months approximately."  
Daniel sighed.  
"What am I supposed to do Chris? This illness is taking over my body by the minute it feels. I'm so tired, drained of all energy, I'm losing this battle. But I want to see our child being born."  
She turned to face him.  
"Does this mean you agree to treatment?"  
"Yes, it does."  
She threw her arms around him. Hope had flared up again.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hi, I didn't expect you here," Kate said cheerfully when she answered the door and saw her sister-in-law and brother standing there. But then she noticed the serious expression on their faces.  
"What's wrong?" she asked.  
"We've got something to tell you," Daniel said.  
"Come in."

They sat down in the living room Kate had previously shared with Chris. Kate sensed that something was terribly wrong and she dreaded to ask, so she waited for either of them to say something.  
"Well, there is good news and bad news..." Chris said and clasped Daniel's hand in hers.  
"I'll start with the good news," Kate said quickly, to prolong the hard part as long as possible.  
"The good news is that I am pregnant."  
"That's great! I am so happy for you! But... What's the bad news? Don't tell me you're getting a divorce or something." Kate joked nervously and saw her younger brother flinch.  
"Is that it?" she asked.  
"No, no. That's not it," Daniel said and took his sister's hand.  
"Katie..." he said softly and finally met her eyes. "I've got leukemia."

It took Kate a few seconds for the concept to melt in her brain.  
"But you're going to be better."  
"I am going to Broken hill for chemo..."  
"And that will make you better, right?"  
Neither of them could look at her, she saw that Chris' eyes were glossy with tears.  
"Right?"  
Daniel took a deep breath.  
"I want to see the baby being born, but... It doesn't look good  
"No, no... " Kate rose and shook her head as the tears threatened to fall any second. "That's a joke, right? You're just playing a prank on me?"  
"No Kate, it's true," Chris said.  
She stared at the two, as if she was waiting for them to break up in smiles and laughter that they had fooled her so well. But they didn't.  
"How long?" she said at length.  
"Two to six months. Maybe more, maybe less." Daniel said.  
Kate spun around to hide her tears.  
He got up and put an arm around his sister.  
"Oh, Daniel," she sobbed and buried her face on his shoulder and they hugged tightly.  
Kate sniffled.  
"What's going to happen now?" she asked.  
"We're going to Broken hill tomorrow, where Daniel will get treatment with anti-cancer drugs. We will be there for a few weeks, and see how it goes." Chris said. It was hard to keep the tears away, but for Kate and Daniel's sake she did her best to remain calm.  
"They don't prepare you for this at medical school," she thought.

Chris entered the little room at the hospital which had been home away from home for them for the past couple of weeks. Daniel was lying in the bed, stroking his hand over his head and big tufts of hair followed easily and fell down on his shoulders.  
"Why don't they just shave my hair and get it over with," he muttered.  
She hurried up to the bed to brush the tufts away from him and down on the floor.  
"How are you feeling?"  
Daniel just sighed.  
"Like the last time you asked. Tired, nauseous and homesick."  
"Well, that will be cured since we are flying home tomorrow, I've even arranged for Sam and Kate to pick us up."  
"How about the rest? Can you cure that?"  
Chris looked into his brown and green eyes, and she had never felt so helpless before. She put on her best bed side manner.  
"Look, the chemotherapy proved to be very effective, the oncologist was optimistic about that with another cycle of treatment..."  
"Yeah, I know. I might see the baby be born," the bitterness in his voice, stressing the 'might', was so palpable that she could almost slice it with a knife. Unconsciously she put one hand on her stomach.  
"Daniel..."  
"Don't," he said and pulled the covers up over his body, but changed his mind after a glance at his wife.  
"Come," he said softly and patted on the bed. "Lie down here with me."  
Chris climbed into bed and laid down with her head on his chest. It felt as if his heart was beating more faint by the beat.  
"Tell me, what are we going to call this baby of ours?"  
"Daniel Jr."  
"Even if it is a girl? That could be problematic for her," Daniel smiled. "What was your mother's name?"  
"Abigail."  
"That's a nice name," Daniel said and half managed to suppress a yawn.  
"I can go out if you want to sleep?"  
"You are not going anywhere. We haven't discussed this yet, and who knows when I'll drop dead."  
"Daniel, please!"  
"What? A little gallows humor never killed anyone."  
Chris just sighed. She knew he would get into this mood when he was tired. Daniel didn't bother to hide the next yawn. She waited for him to say something but his breathing calmed down and became this slow, hypnotizing, rhythm. She knew he was asleep but didn't want to wake him so she stayed put, listening to his breathing.

Kate drew a deep breath. She had spent the last couple of weeks crying her eyes out, and she was determined not to break down in front of her younger brother.  
"Hey, it'll be alright," Sam said but somewhere in his voice there was insecurity. She gave him a faint smile, knowing that if she answered she would not be able to hold back the tears. Kate knocked at the door.  
"Come in," she heard Chris' voice.  
They entered. Daniel was sitting on the bed, with Chris standing beside him. At the sight of her brother, how skinny he was and with dark shades under his eyes, tears welled up in her eyes and she put a hand over her mouth to keep herself from sobbing.  
"Kate..." Daniel began, but she just shook her head and gave him a big hug.  
"Let's get you out of here," she sniffled.

"Ah, feels good to be back in your own bed," Daniel sighed and pulled up the covers over his body. "Promise me one thing, Chris?"  
"Anything."  
"That when I get worse, you won't put me in hospital. I want to stay here at home."  
"But-"  
"No buts, I want to stay here."  
She sighed, snuggled up to him and put her head on his shoulder.  
"I promise."  
He was silent, and Chris thought he was sleeping so she tried to do the same.  
"Why is this happening to me?" he asked quietly after a while.  
"What do you mean?" she said to buy some time, unprepared for the question as she was.  
"I mean... My life was crap up until I met you. Then we get married, we have a baby on the way, I almost got a record deal and all of a sudden I am dying of cancer?! What is the fairness in that?! I'm just saying that... Don't I deserve more that this? To be dead in a few weeks?"  
"Hey, you are not going to die in a few weeks! You are going to see your son or daughter being born, and we'll find a way to fight this!"  
"Nevermind, let's just sleep" Daniel said and turned on his side with his back facing her. She reached out a hand to touch him, but couldn't bear the thought of rejection again, so she withdrew it.

"I don't know what to say to him, Tom." Chris was sitting in an examining room with Tom Callaghan at the hospital. "Seems like I am constantly saying the wrong things," she sighed and looked so sad and weary that Tom wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go. Make it all better.  
"It's not an easy situation. Not for you and not for Daniel. But it's important to be there for him. Don't disconnect from him."  
"I'm just so... Scared," she said and blinked away tears. "When he... I can't even say it!" she drew a deep breath.  
"Daniel is my soul mate, he is my soul, and if he disappears, how much of me will go with him? How much will be left for the baby? How am I supposed to cope without him?" Chris couldn't take it anymore and broke down in tears. Tom rose and embraced her.  
"You've got Kate, and Geoff to help you," he put his index under her chin and lifted her face up so that their eyes med. "And you have me. I will help you through it," he said softly. She managed a weak smile.  
"Thank you," she said.  
Tom could feel in the pit of his stomach that he was no way near to console her wholly, and that he'd never be able to. He gave her a tight hug to make up for his loss of words.


	9. Chapter 9

2012-11-07

Daniel took a sip from his tea.

"You need to eat something as well." Chris urged. "Get your strange back."

"I don't think I can stomach any food right now, tea will have to do. Besides, I doubt that my strength is coming back."

"Don't say that, you have to be positive about it."

Her husband only smiled a gentle, indulgent smile and put down the teacup on the tray.

"I should like to go outside today, sit on the veranda a bit."

"You think that's a good idea? It's a bit nippy outside, you could get pneumonia."

"Yeah, I could die of cancer as well," Daniel smiled. "I'd like to go outside, would you help me?"

Chris hesitated.

"Only if you dress warm and have a blanket."

"Promise."

Supported by Chris, Daniel slowly made his way down the stairs and outside to a chair. She immediately covered him with a blanket.

"There, sure you're not too cold?"

"I'm fine, Chris," he smiled. She was pleased to know this seemed to be one of his better days, he seemed relaxed and content.

"Right, I have some paperwo- Oh!" she felt something stirring inside.

"What's the matter?"

"The baby... It kicked! Here give me your hand."

She placed his hand on her growing belly, and just when Chris began to think she had imagined it, there was another kick.

"Did you feel it?"

"I felt it! Our baby..." he was too moved to speak. She leaned down to him and gave him a kiss.

Though Daniel would have preferred Chris' company, he knew that she had work to do, and he let her go inside.

The season of autumn was half way through, and the vivid colours of the leaves was strong, though many trees had lost most of their clothing. He sighed, and wondered why he had never appreciated the colours of the fall before, when he had the chance instead of discovering how beautful everything was now when he was on his deathbed. He didn't want to tell Chris, but his strength was waning by the day. Soon, soon it would be time to say goodbye. It was quite some time left until the baby was due, and he doubted if he would see his daughter or son be born. He doubted it very much.

Some nights later, Chris was getting ready for bed. Daniel already spent most of his time there, this day he had not been up at all. She felt her stomach turn into a knot. There couldn't be much time left for him now judging by how weak and tired he looked. She swallowed tears.

"I'd like to take you to the hospital tomorrow," she said.

"Why?"

Chris didn't immediatley answer, but prepared his painkiller shot.

"You know I want to be home, here with you. Not some sterile hospital."

"You'll be better taken care of there,"

"You still haven't given up, have you?" Daniel said softly. "Chris... I'm going to die. I feel it, it's not long now."

Her lips tightened to a thin line and she focused of getting the needle through his skin with minimal pain. He still winced.

"Hey, look at me," he pleaded. She looked up and there was no way she could hide the tears in her eyes anymore.

"I don't know what to do without you. I can't get used to the idea, I won't!" Tears made their way down her cheek, and she angrily wiped them away.

Daniel didn't know what to say to comfort his wife.

"If... If it'll make you feel better, then I'll go to the hospital tomorrow."

"You mean that?"

He nodded.

"If you lie down next to me, with your head on my chest."

"I can do that."

Daniel drew a deep breath, breathed in the smell of her schampoo, and put his arm around her and held on as tight as he could.

Chris woke up the next morning, and found that Daniel was still asleep. She gently caressed his cheek.

"Hey, sleepyhead, I woke up first." She leaned in and gave him a kiss, but he didn't wake.

"Daniel..?"

He seemed to be sound asleep.

"If he was dead, he'd be cold. He can't be dead, not yet, I haven't said goodbye. We're going to the hospital today. Not yet, I'm not ready, plese not yet!" she thought.

"Daniel?" she tried again, and shook him a little. But he made no motion.

"Daniel, it's not funny!" Desperation coloured her voice and she sat up in the bed, her head completely blank.

She cuddled up closer to him, and time ceased to exist.

"Chris. Chris!"

Why was Kate there in their house? Why wouldn't she leave her alone with Daniel. Vaguely she noticed Tom somewhere behind her sister-in-law. Maybe Geoff was there too.

"Leave us alone," a voice said. She assumed it was her own voice, yet it sounded so unfamilliar, so thick.

"He's gone, Chris," Tom said.

"No, he's just... No!"

Everthing moved in slow motion. Geoff came up and drew a sheet over Daniel's face, and suddenly these men she knew from the hospital came in carrying a stretcher.

"Take him to the morgue," Geoff said low to the ambulance personnel, but Chris heard.

"No, he's not dead! He, he can't be! You can't take him from me, he's just sleeping! Wake him up, you'll see."

She felt someone's arms around her.

"Daniel?" she thought. "He's comforting me."

But it was Tom's arms.

"Tom, don't let them take him, he wants to be at home," she tried to go to the stretcher where he lay, but Tom held her.

"Chris..."

"No!" she screamed. "No, he can't be, he can't be, no please!"

She broke down in his arms as the truth began to sink in.

Hours later, or maybe it was days? Chris didn't know. She had lost track of everything in this deep, dark, sea of grief. Tom stuck a mug of tea in her hands. She absently wondered where she was, probably Tom's place. She didn't know, nor care.

"Hot and sweet. It's good when you're in shock," he said.

"Is that what I am?" she thought. Everything was so confusing,

Daniel was gone. Nothing in the world made sense anymore.

"Chris, please say something," Tom pleaded.

"What do you want me to say?" she thought. "The light of my life is gone, only darkness remains."

"You shouldn't have come back, Tom," the words surprised her as much as they did her friend.

"What do you mean?"

Chris stared intently down in the tea.

He asked her again.

"I mean that everything was fine until you came, you wanted this, you wanted Daniel out of the way."

"You don't mean-"

"I don't?"

Her hard tone scared Tom.

"Chris, I assure you, I'm your friend. I'd never want to hurt you."

"But you did. Daniel's dead. Are you happy now, that the road is clear?"

He was at a loss for words. He knew it was her grief talking, but her words hurt nonetheless.

"I have to get out of here," Chris rose so fast she dropped the tea on the floor.

"I can't let you go, not in the state your in."

"I'm not stayng here!"

She headed for the door, but Tom was faster, and pulled her into a hug.

I'ts alright. Let it out. You need to."

"Let me go!"

"No."

"Tom, I'm serious. Let me go!"

But he held on. Even when she started screaming, hitting and kicking him, he held her. Eventually, she relaxed and cried.


	10. Chapter 10

Epilogue

2012-11-07

A year had passed since Daniel's death. The immediate bleeding of the wound, had ceased. Chris was still sore mentally, she missed him terribly every day, but somehow, without her knowing exactly how or when, the grief had become part of her everyday life.

"It's easier to cope. Though I do miss you, Daniel. We miss you, all of us. Your daughter as well," she said to his gravestone and the little girl in the pram babbled in agreement.

As she put the bouquet of yellow carnations in a vase, Tom came up.

"Hey, how are you doing?"

"It's been a year today."

"I know. It's been a rough one for you."

"Yeah, you could say that again."

Chris rose and walked up to her daughter. The little one grinned a toothless smile when she saw her mother, and her mother smiled back lovingly. The months after the delivery had been the worst of her life, not being able to connect properly with the baby, wishing the screaming little bundle away.

But with the help of her friends she had managed to find her way out of that dark tunnel.

Daniela, as Chris had named the baby girl, had inherited her father's eyes. The left one was green and the right one brown. Every day she saw something in her daughter that reminded her of Daniel, but instead of hating the baby for it, she enjoyed seeing all the little things Daniela had gotten from her father. Like he was still there somehow,

Tom gently put his arm around her shoulders. She reacted by taking his hand in hers.

"Tom, I'm sorry for the way I treated you after Daniel's death."

"It's alright. You had just lost him, I don't blame you."

"But still-"

"But still nothing. It's bygones."

"Thank you."

They stood so, no one spoke.

"I need time, Tom," Chris said after a long moment had passed.

He nodded.

"I can give you that. All the time you need."


End file.
